You must learn to reprogram your mind, whenever you are fighting to regain control of your life from active addiction. You must remember that you always attract the same energy that you give off to other people. If you are a negative person, then you will magnetically attract negative people in your life. However, when you change the way you think, you will begin to attract positive people in your life.
Many times, you have to walk away from the old friends, in order to make a new life for yourself. Don’t be afraid to change your surroundings, because you will find that better things are waiting for you, once you let go of the negative things in your mind and life that are holding you back. Changing your mindset will allow you to meet new people and land life changing opportunities, which can actually change your entire life.
You will find that being around positive people and thinking about positive things is so much easier than stressing or obsessing about the negative in your life. Create a journal and write down all the positive things in your life every single morning and night. Stay focused on those positive things in your life, in order to continue attracting positive things in your life.
If you begin to think negatively, stop and reprogram your mind immediately! Never let the intrusive negative thoughts overwhelm your mind, since these thoughts can cause you to relapse and you may not make it out of active addiction this time. Always look for the positive things in your life, because they will help you stay focus and give you countless reasons to love your life.
Positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative. Always remember that!
There are going to be times when you will find out certain things that may hurt or upset you about someone you love. Focus on maintaining your composure and gather your thoughts before you decide to react to the revelation. Sometimes, you must deal with the pain of knowing the truth. Stay silent, but inside you are putting different things together about a person that you have never noticed before.
Each new frame that rolls in your mind will be different snapshots and memories that you have stored in your mind over time. As the pictures, conversations, and actions begin to line up perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle. Honestly, you are now fast approaching an uncontrollable angry explosion, which is known as a click, click…boom moment! Unfortunately, you know the truth based on your own perception of what you have seen or heard.
These thoughts stir up your anger, while you fight to hold back the spontaneous combustion that you know is quickly coming. Stop allowing these thoughts to dominate your mind, instead distract yourself with watching funny videos or listening to upbeat music. Don’t focus on the pain you feel, instead be thankful that you now know the absolute truth and start changing your part in the narrative of your story.
Walk away and let it go, because it is not healthy to hold anger in or to allow it to fester due to the pain you feel at this moment. Stay strong and keep moving away from them, until you are no longer part of their life. Try to identify or learn what triggers your angry outbursts and learn to let go for peace sakes. Remember that becoming angry is natural, but letting your temper explode on your family and friends is not.
During recovery or even in everyday life, you are going to learn quickly that you will only able to control your own situations and circumstances. Honestly, you cannot control the way anyone else chooses to treat you. You can choose to stay away from any person, who hurts you and does not change their behavior once you have discussed the issue. Save your energy and stay away from the craziness, while focusing on the positive things in your life that make you happy.
Controlling when people come to your home, work, or other places that you go can keep your anxiety level down. However, you can also tell visitors to text or call you before a visit, so you can decide if you want to actually have a visitor over at that time. Sometimes, you may just want to be alone because you feel grouchy and full of anxiety. Setting rules with your visitors will help you regain control over your life, while you focus on healing and meditation.
Furthermore, talk to a mentor on how to control your finances if you need help, because you will need to pay rent and electricity in a stable home. You may also have to pay for water, propane, and/or other necessities inside your home. Learning to control your finances will make you proud and give you a sense of freedom that is amazing after dealing with addiction. Therefore, take control of your finances and your life, so you can find the peace and happiness that you long for everyday.
Changing your life can be extremely difficult with the many different temptations around you. Most of the time, you are far away from the temptation, but sometimes it can be right in your face. This temptation can actually be in the form of a person, who just happened to dropped by to visit you after months or years of not communicating.
Right then, you must decide how you will handle this blast from your past. Will you choose the easy way out, which is to give into temptation? However, you could also visit for a few moments and then politely excuse yourself from the nerve racking situation. Only, you can choose what you will do when you face certain daily temptations.
Be sure to keep your support system on speed dial, because giving in to temptation is not worth the amount of guilt that you will face after your relapse. Stay completely away from circumstances and situations that will challenge your strength, while adding new things that completely inspire you. Start by creating a life that makes it easier for you to remain sober, because you are doing things that you enjoy despite the degree of temptation.
My Uncle once told me that, “Sometimes our words ring a bell when we
speak them out loud!”
An unbearable amount of pain can come from someone words, especially when they can literally cut a person’s heart to pieces. Sometimes, people are dealing with things that you may not know about, so be kind when you speak. Lately, I have been trying to watch my own mouth and not say mean things to anyone, since I have been trying to get right with God. However, some days I fail too and my anger erupts like a volcano and I am saying stuff I completely regret.
Do not say something if you don’t mean it, since not
everyone will forgive you for the mean things you have said. Everyone can be very
mean with their words, but you must change the way you react when you are angry
at a person. Try to be quiet and say a prayer, whenever someone seems to be
pushing all the right buttons and your anger is swelling. Take a deep breath or
listen to your favorite music, which may help you calm down.
Don’t say something that you cannot take back, just because
you are angry and someone is relentless and is constantly pushing you to your
limit. The anger swells like the lava in a volcano and before long you are spewing
venom from your lips. Instead, offer a prayer of forgiveness and try to get
away from the person who brings the contempt out of you. Honestly, don’t let
your anger cause you to say things that you will one day end up regretting for
the rest of your life.
I always try to remember what my Uncle always said when he was alive, “Don’t Ring That Bell, Christy!”
Congratulations on successfully escaping your addiction and joining thousands of others who are on the road to recovery. However, rejoining society after a stint in rehab, jail, or self-imposed isolation can be very difficult at times. Everywhere you turn, you will see something that reminds you of your time spent in the grip of your addiction. Just breathe throughout each temptation and keep moving forward, while reminding yourself that you don’t live there anymore.
Never allow yourself to become overwhelmed by the temptation you will face in society, instead let it empower you. Walk away and smile, because you have just won another huge victory in your personal recovery! You may feel alone or like you have lost everyone, but the truth is you have gained yourself throughout the storm of addiction and that is more valuable than 100 fake friends. Make new friends who can encourage you whenever you feel weak, especially if you do not have a sponsor through your rehab or AA program.
You will run into the people that you used with, but you must remind yourself that they were never your friend in the first place. Always remember that they used you to feed their addiction too, by making sure you stayed hooked on whatever substance you used and they probably pushed you to share. Ask yourself, have you heard from them since you started your journey to become sober? Have they even bothered to call and check up on you or have they just distanced themselves from you?
Don’t give into temptation because you run in to an old so-called friends that still uses and asks if you want to get high or drunk. Temptation is all around you when you are trying to avoid alcohol, because of the television commercials and stores you visit every day. You must cling to your higher power and just breathe through it and get away from the situation as soon as you can. One day, the temptation will not be as strong; instead you will be able to handle it without falling apart inside.
Stay away from the old places you used to frequent where the dealers hang out, even if it is your work place or the neighborhood store. Do not be afraid to change your entire routine or get a new job, if you have to in order to remain sober and in recovery. You did whatever it took to get high or drunk, now dig deep and do what you got to do to stay clean. Raise your head high and be proud of yourself, because you are learning how to cope with and beat your addiction…one day at a time!
@2019, Crystal S. Kauffman
PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist! Based on my Personal Experience.
A blessing’s jar is a neat little way to remind yourself of the many daily blessings that you have received each day. This is a unique way to count your blessings, as you add little pieces of paper to a jar that have your blessing written on it. All you need for this project is a large empty jar, post-it-note paper or small pocket notebook, and a pen. Then, set aside a few moments each night before bed to write down the good things or blessings that you have received each day.
Sometimes, you will need a little reminder of all the good things that has happened throughout your long day. Especially, when the good things tend to be overshadowed by stressful or bad things we deal within life. We tend to ponder on the bad things quicker than we remember the good things that happen to us like: a visit from an old friend, a boss recognizes your hard work on a project, and/or a surprise date with your partner.
So with that said, take time to write down all of your blessings and place them in your very own blessings jar. You can decorate your jar anyway that you want, as well as choose any jar that you may want to use. This is a great project for Sunday school classes or a fun project for families to do together during the weekend. I hope you enjoy counting your blessings as much as I do and decorating your jar the way you want it to be.