Dancing With Anger

By, Crystal S. Kauffman, Staff Writer



Give me this moment father,
I don’t want to be a bother.
Calm the rage I feel,
Love me, as I start to heal.

I will not complain or cry,
Watch me as I fly.
Tomorrow I will grow my wings,
Start to fly and handle things.

I made my own prison of sin,
Some blame what I grew up in,
Never knowing love that I should,
Most of my life I felt misunderstood.

Holding on to a dream will all my might,
Standing against the odds I will fight.
To stubborn to give up or to quit,
No matter the blow or the hit.

Not even cancer can take my desire,
Or my passion that burns like a fire.
Burning my soul, as I face this pain,
My eyes are left with tears that stain.

Your love is what I have inside,
So, therefore I will not hide.
I will stand and take all I can,
With you holding my hand.

Lost and pushing straight,
Patiently, I will forever wait.
Nothing can stop me now,
Only you can show me how.

Life is hard, without you here,
Take my soul and hold it near.
I don’t know what my future will hold,
Please, don’t let my anger leave me cold.

PS: I wrote this poem in 2008, when I was dealing with a lot of anger for various reasons. I have learned to forgive and I feel so relieved that I do not feel this way anymore. However, you may be dancing with you own anger. I hope this poem speaks to you and allows you to forgive on make peace with those you are angry at. You don’t forgive for them, instead you forgive for yourself.

Do You Have An Illness Support System?

Zachary, Miranda, Me, and Trey-c. Part of my support system.

Zachary, Miranda, Me, and Trey-c. Part of my support system.

As a cancer patient or a caregiver, you will learn so much about a devastating disease that rarely leaves survivors. Everyone is hoping and praying for a cure to be found quickly, but more research is needed in order for this to happen. However, there are other ways, in which you can help yourself fight to live. This will be a spiritual, physical, emotional journey for everyone around you.

Laugh Everyday

Learning to laugh every day, no matter what you may be facing in the future is important for anyone touched by cancer. Start by finding a sense of hope, in the midst of an unsure future and pain beyond description. Cancer sucks, but we most make the most out of the time we have with our families. Don’t fret over the small things, instead go out and have a day of fun that your loved one will never forget.

Focus on You

Next, look for a hobby or spend the night dancing with someone you love. Spend time doing the things you love, like taking a vacation to the mountains or visit an amusement park. Always find new ways, to help you beat the cancer blues and the fear involved in the cancers. Current research shows that loneliness and sadness lead to a quicker death. So, go have fun, instead of feeling helpless and frustrated with your current situation.

Create Memories

Then, be sure to write a book about your life, as a keepsake for your family and their children. In addition, you could make a scrapbook for each of your children, but first you will need to gather up your favorite pictures. Try to forget your troubles and focus on pleasing yourself instead, since most doctors agree the laughter is the best medicine. Be sure to get your daily dose and pass it on to your loved one and friends.

Get Healthy

Research has show that changing old habits will help you live longer, so quit smoking and adopt a low fat diet. Remember to eat lots of veggie and fruits, in order to build up your body’s immune system. Exercise regularly, in order to maintain your physical strength and health. Start slowly and work your way up to 30 minutes of Cardio exercise a day. Then, you will want to add strength training into your daily routine.


Enjoy the precious gift of life that you were given, no matter what you are facing tomorrow or in the future. Furthermore, lean on your faith for spiritual comfort, while traveling on this bumpy road. It is necessary to make yourself happy and change your unhealthy habits, so you will begin thriving. Therefore, focus on learning to live and laugh, because it is another important step toward becoming a healthy survivor!

My Husband and my son. They are also part of my support system.

My Husband and my son. They are also part of my support system.


My husband Karl

My Husband Karl

Diagnosed with a Severe UTI


Has anyone else experienced this? For months, I have been having issues my bladder. Unfortunately, my bladder always hurt from the cancer treatment 11 years ago. Plus, it is overactive and doesn’t empty well. SO, I am always running to the bathroom.

 I went to my regular doctor on 8/5 and she gave me some antibiotics. After running test she confirmed that I had an UTI.  Once, I had completed those antibiotics, I still felt like something was wrong. My back near my kidneys heart and my bladder hurt really bad, especially when I went to bathroomI

Yesterday, I starting peeing blood and a lot of it. with blood clots. By the way, aggressive cervical cancer treatment took away my menstrual, so I knew that I wasn’t just having monthly visitor. Immediately, I called my Aunt Donna and she advised calling the doctor, so I called and was told to go the ER. Well now, I am on another set of antibiotics and I truly hope this time it helps. Well, the ER doctor acted like it was no big deal, he even said it was common. I was stunned, but I made it through and I am still hurting a lot. I am so blessed it was not something life-threatening. 

I would love to hear your story or suggestions that may help me keep these UTI’s at bay.? Next stop…Urologist I hope!

Copyright 2014, Crystal S. Kauffman

Finding Comfort through God

Finding Comfort through God

Finding Comfort through God

Sometimes we may feel alone in our daily walk through life, but we should not feel this way with Jesus in our heart. Thankfully, God will send the Holy Spirit to comfort us, whenever we may need to be comforted due to life’s troubles or trials. Our Heavenly Father gives us the fellowship with those, who we meet at church and school. However, we must be able to spiritually discern whether someone will be a comfort to us or a bad influence on us.

The first memory verse is: 1 Thessalonians 4:18-“Wherefore comfort one another with these words.”

Whenever we are need of comfort or relief from something which is causing us to suffer or stress in our daily lives. Unfortunately, we tend to hang on to our doubt and misery, instead of seeking comfort through our fellowship with God. The pain we feel about the situation we are facing can cause us to question our Heavenly Father’s ability to console us. Through Jesus Christ, you have a direct line to God, which can help you find the comfort that you may need.

However, by reading the Holy Bible or God’s Word, we can find ways to strengthen our faith in God’s ability to help us in any situation. Throughout your daily walk with God, you will find encouragement and freedom from the pain you have been feeling for so long. Additionally, you can discuss your problems or troubles with someone you trust at church like your pastor. Thankfully, God gives us fellowship with other Christians through church, who may be able to help us locate a different perspective to the issue that we face.

The second memory verse is: 2 Thessalonians 2:17“Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.

Put our faith and trust in God, because doesn’t want us to feel alone or depressed about the trials that we will face each day. We will find consolation and contentment throughout our walk with his son Jesus Christ. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to feel abandoned or suffer needlessly, because he loves and cherishes all of his children. We must demonstrate the faith we have in God and hand over our burdens to him each day.

Leaving our burdens with God can be difficult, because we always want to try and solve our problems and issues by ourselves. However, we must learn to trust God, in order to receive the comfort he has promised us throughout the Holy Bible. Sometimes, whenever we are facing a fierce storm in our lives, we must stand firm in your faith. Therefore, start allowing God to comfort you, whenever you feel overwhelmed by the trials you may be facing.