Know Your Worth


By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Watch how you allow people in your life to treat you, because you are teaching them the ways you accept being treated. If a person uses harsh words with you and you allow it, then they will continue to speak to you in this manner. You show people exactly what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to you, whenever you interact with them.

You are responsible for setting the boundaries whether you do it in person or by any other means of communication. Love and respect yourself, while commanding respect from those who are in your inner circle. Never let them talk down to you or call you names, especially a partner just because they are angry with you.

You should never have to tolerate this behavior from anyone, so put your foot down and walk away from anyone who disrespects you. Know your worth and establish what you will not tolerate from the beginning of the friendship. Never allow someone to slide when they treat you bad because of some excuse that they have given you like: they had a bad day or your being difficult.

You deserve to be treated like a queen or a king, so hold your head up high and walk away from the nonsense that you have chosen not to accept. However, remember you can forgive them but don’t ever let the repeat the behavior that hurt you in the first place. Draw your battle lines and play to win, because only you can control how people treat you.

Copyrighted © 2019

(PS: I am not a licensed therapist. Based on personal experience.)

Don’t Ring That Bell


My Uncle once told me that, “Sometimes our words ring a bell when we speak them out loud!”

An unbearable amount of pain can come from someone words, especially when they can literally cut a person’s heart to pieces. Sometimes, people are dealing with things that you may not know about, so be kind when you speak. Lately, I have been trying to watch my own mouth and not say mean things to anyone, since I have been trying to get right with God. However, some days I fail too and my anger erupts like a volcano and I am saying stuff I completely regret.

Do not say something if you don’t mean it, since not everyone will forgive you for the mean things you have said. Everyone can be very mean with their words, but you must change the way you react when you are angry at a person. Try to be quiet and say a prayer, whenever someone seems to be pushing all the right buttons and your anger is swelling. Take a deep breath or listen to your favorite music, which may help you calm down.

Don’t say something that you cannot take back, just because you are angry and someone is relentless and is constantly pushing you to your limit. The anger swells like the lava in a volcano and before long you are spewing venom from your lips. Instead, offer a prayer of forgiveness and try to get away from the person who brings the contempt out of you. Honestly, don’t let your anger cause you to say things that you will one day end up regretting for the rest of your life.

I always try to remember what my Uncle always said when he was alive, “Don’t Ring That Bell, Christy!”

©2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist! Based on Personal Experience

Coping With New Sobriety


I do not own the copyright.

Congratulations on successfully escaping your addiction and joining thousands of others who are on the road to recovery. However, rejoining society after a stint in rehab, jail, or self-imposed isolation can be very difficult at times. Everywhere you turn, you will see something that reminds you of your time spent in the grip of your addiction. Just breathe throughout each temptation and keep moving forward, while reminding yourself that you don’t live there anymore.

Never allow yourself to become overwhelmed by the temptation you will face in society, instead let it empower you. Walk away and smile, because you have just won another huge victory in your personal recovery! You may feel alone or like you have lost everyone, but the truth is you have gained yourself throughout the storm of addiction and that is more valuable than 100 fake friends. Make new friends who can encourage you whenever you feel weak, especially if you do not have a sponsor through your rehab or AA program.

You will run into the people that you used with, but you must remind yourself that they were never your friend in the first place. Always remember that they used you to feed their addiction too, by making sure you stayed hooked on whatever substance you used and they probably pushed you to share. Ask yourself, have you heard from them since you started your journey to become sober? Have they even bothered to call and check up on you or have they just distanced themselves from you?

Don’t give into temptation because you run in to an old so-called friends that still uses and asks if you want to get high or drunk. Temptation is all around you when you are trying to avoid alcohol, because of the television commercials and stores you visit every day. You must cling to your higher power and just breathe through it and get away from the situation as soon as you can. One day, the temptation will not be as strong; instead you will be able to handle it without falling apart inside.   

Stay away from the old places you used to frequent where the dealers hang out, even if it is your work place or the neighborhood store. Do not be afraid to change your entire routine or get a new job, if you have to in order to remain sober and in recovery. You did whatever it took to get high or drunk, now dig deep and do what you got to do to stay clean. Raise your head high and be proud of yourself, because you are learning how to cope with and beat your addiction…one day at a time!

@2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist! Based on my Personal Experience.

Create a Blessing’s Jar


A blessing’s jar is a neat little way to remind yourself of the many daily blessings that you have received each day. This is a unique way to count your blessings, as you add little pieces of paper to a jar that have your blessing written on it. All you need for this project is a large empty jar, post-it-note paper or small pocket notebook, and a pen. Then, set aside a few moments each night before bed to write down the good things or blessings that you have received each day.  

Sometimes, you will need a little reminder of all the good things that has happened throughout your long day. Especially, when the good things tend to be overshadowed by stressful or bad things we deal within life. We tend to ponder on the bad things quicker than we remember the good things that happen to us like: a visit from an old friend, a boss recognizes your hard work on a project, and/or a surprise date with your partner.

So with that said, take time to write down all of your blessings and place them in your very own blessings jar. You can decorate your jar anyway that you want, as well as choose any jar that you may want to use.  This is a great project for Sunday school classes or a fun project for families to do together during the weekend. I hope you enjoy counting your blessings as much as I do and decorating your jar the way you want it to be.   

(c) 2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

Are You At Rock Bottom?


Well, you have finally managed to hit what many people call,“hitting rock bottom”. This stage or point in life is when you lose everything and everyone you know due to bad choices. Most of the time the series of bad choices is associated with addiction to drugs, alcohol, and mental disorders, and chronic diseases has brought to your knees.

Your world has completely stopped turning because you have just lost your home, your spouse, your job, your children, or even your beloved pets. When this happens, you may feel or think that no one will ever forgive you or speak to you again.

You are absolutely wrong! This is a crucial point in your life that can go bad or good from here. Now, what should you do with your life, since losing everything that meant anything to you? You are where you are because of your recent or long-term bad choices that you have made so far. You can blame everyone around you for the reason that you are angry or depressed. Each of the bad choices was made by you and whoever your blaming it on.

First, are you willing to admit to yourself that you actually do have a problem and that you need to seek out help? Unfortunately, you cannot take away the mistakes you made, but you can begin taking steps toward creating a future that you alone can be proud of. Yeah, it is going to be scary or hard and you may even fail a few times at first, yet keep trying and refuse to give up! No matter how crappy you feel, especially on the days that just won’t end and you feel like you have been battered or bruised.

Just give it all up and let it go, no it’s not easy but that is the only thing you can do. Especially, on days that make you question allthe progress that you have made so far. Be honest with yourself and admit defeat, next admit your own blame and let God or your higher power help you achieve your next goal and so forth. Soon you will gain traction and you will see things begin to change, but this will not happen overnight though.

Believe in yourself and know that you are going try and fail, but you are making good choices which will help you find blessings along the way. You should seek counseling program or other addiction programs like rehab center near you. These rehab centers may also be obtained through your local community centers or church outreach programs. Look around your communityor call your insurance, so you can receive the professional help you will need.

When you’re ready to pick up the scattered pieces of your life, begin by admitting that you need help to someone you trust. Then, you can begin getting the treatment that you need to recover and take back your life. Be willing to make amends, with anyone you hurt whenever you lose control of your life in such a way that you begin spiraling towards your rock bottom. Your worth fighting for, so call someone you trust now and get the help you need.

Remember to focus your energy on learning to love yourself despite your painful past, while taking each future step slowly. Each day is a gift and some days will feel exciting orrefreshing, but some days will feel like you have stepped into a living a nightmare. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cannot change your hopeless situation into a hopeful beginning.

However, first you must be brutally honest with yourself and someone that you trust.

*Suicide is not an option under any circumstances, because you mustremain alive to achieve recovery and healing.*

Disclaimer: I am not a Licensed Therapist or Counselor. I amsharing I what I learned through my own personal experience.

©2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

So,You Had A Bad Day?


Now what do you do with that statement? You have been beaten and bruised by life’s obstacles. Yet, your someone’s inpiration that you never knew was watching you.

Then, suddenly someone actually says,” You’re a Warrior. Be proud!”  

Proud of what? You are now a survivor and your whole life changes again. However, you are learning what friends and family are toxic to your life.  Unfortunately, your lifestyle change will make the losers and users in your life scatter like roaches.  

You will recognize the toxic persons who are constantly suffocating you with their bad choices. Losing them will sting, and a burn but soon you will replace them with good people who want to see you excel in all that you do.

So, this was a hard week and it has made you feel down on yourself. Right now, you are dancing with anger and it feels hopeless. Maybe, you just want to escape the constant thoughts, which are being repeated on auto loop and is so loud in your head. 

Do you ever feel like you are over whelmed by the hell that you personally endured? 

Remember that,

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13  

Your mind is not broken yet, so just stop and breathe. Now, focus on your options that right in front of you. Your career and your immediate family. Study until you feel you are ready to became a name in your chosen profession. 

Chase that dream every moment you have to yourself and let your immediate family be the center of your life, not those who drain you.

Joy comes with the morning!

© 2019, Crystal S. Kauffman 

PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist! Based on my Personal Experience.